God the Father

So, here's a confession. In all my twisted dealings with
fundamentalist Christianity; all my raging that I might have to be
silent, but I didn't have to like it; all my adoration for Sophia,
Divine Wisdom, I've never actually had a personal problem the metaphor
of God the Father. Sure, I don't care for the hegemony of said
metaphor, and I have plenty of first hand knowledge of the fucked up
scenarios created by said hegemony – but the image of God as Father
isn't problematic for me, at least not in any way that would be
considered feminist.

It's probably because my own father was not the representative of the
forces of the patriarchy. He's the one who told me that maybe who day
we'd go to a church where they let women have a role. He's the one
who interfered when they started pushing the marriage and children
agenda down the girls' throats before most of us had our periods.
Yes, he had the privilege of being able to stay in the church because
he was male and therefore had a place. He had the privilege to just
be able to disagree but to not be directly affected. But he didn't
represent the patriarchy.

God the Father conjures up a patient being. One who'll let me keep
asking why questions well past my bedtime. One who won't actually
damn me to hell for not accepting much of anything at face value.
This is God who will be pleased if I wander up and demand an answer.
Someone who's a refuge from all the people trying to shove me into one
box or another. God the Father is the kind face of the Divine in my
personal theology land. If I don't use the image that much it's
because it's painful. My father is both the reason why I can think of
God as Father, and his absence makes it almost too painful to draw on
that image.

I don't believe that any one image of the Divine should have a
hegemony. I believe that there are an infinite number of legitimate
images of the Divine. And I think they're highly personal.

This feminist theologian doesn't need a God the Mother image. The
closest I can get is an appreciation of Kali, but it's her ferocity I
adore, not so much her mothering aspects. Sophia is my Lady, not my
Divine Mother. Again, I can intellectually understand the appeal,
but at a personal level God the Mother is just not useful for me.

There. My confession.