So in our new life as a sarcastic grad-student by day and an even more sardonic barista by night (or early morning), I run into some of the eccentrics of the Berkeley area. In all honesty, the customer base is decent -- the notion of murder only pops into the back of my head about 5% of the time.
A recent addition to that 5% is someone I've dubbed "Organic Milk Mom." Here's how the interlude at the register goes, repeatedly.
OMM: *setting toddler down on counter, where toddler can grab at tip jar and other objects, or get badly scalded if someone tips over a cup of coffee, orders something. Begins the high-pitched holier-than-thou voice.* Is organic milk an option?
Me: No, ma'am. But we use Berkeley Farms milk, so it is growth hormone free.
OMM: Well! *insert head-flip here* What about non-fat? Is that an option?
Me: Yes, ma'am. *begins to hit non-fat button on register*
OMM: Or low-fat? Do you have low-fat?!!!
Now, this would be a throughly reasonable discussion if it occured once. The fact that this discussion has occured twice in three days with exaggerated "OMG! How can you not have organic milk!" intonations is ridiculous. If we didn't have organic milk on Monday, we aren't going to have it on Wednesday. Do not hold up the line because you somehow think that being a bitch to the barista making a little over 8 dollars/ hour will get anything changed.
But apparently in the minds of some crazy-mothers,
non-organic foodstuffs are tantamount to abuse.
I'm contemplating changing the script next time, smiling sweetly, pulling out my accent and telling OMM. "Well, all our milk is carbon based, so yes, it's organic."
Such people are rivaled in my disdain only by the one or two environmental crusaders who flip out when I ask them if they would like a carrying bag for their coffee. If you don't want it, a "no, thanks" is all that is nessecary.
